In most of the cases, things turn out fine and all the worrying was unnecessary.
I feel this affects my quality of life negatively and would love to not do this as often. Unfortunately, simply saying "stop doing that" doesn't work too well.
Any tips on how to stop being a worrier, or how to approach life in a more positive manner ?
Short book on meditation: https://www.amazon.com/Sit-Like-Buddha-Pocket-Meditation/dp/...
Longer book: https://www.amazon.com/Mind-Illuminated-Meditation-Integrati...
Also, try some guidelines to help you choose more intentionally when and how to analyze things. Is it no topic is worth thinking through all outcomes? Or, important topics are worth it, and they are x, y and z? Or, I can do that type of thinking only an hour a day, from 7-8pm? Once a week? A therapist and trial and error can help you figure out what works for you.
Have a counterfactual behavior that you'll do when you notice you're analyzing when you didn't intend to. E.g. if I notice I'm thinking through scenarios, I'll acknowledge that, then focus on my breath.
One key insight often promoted through meditation for instance is that you’re not your thoughts.
A Stoicism-related technique that might be particularly useful in your case is Tim Ferriss’ fear-setting: https://tim.blog/2017/05/15/fear-setting/
Link to the book: https://www.paranoid-optimist.com/
Link: Decision tree primer https://hbr.org/1964/07/decision-trees-for-decision-making
I'd recommend seeing a therapist and developing a treatment plan together. It's a practical way to identify what you are worrying about, why and how to overcome it. Then, I'd encourage you to learn more about personalities and your personality type. There are a bunch of 'personality type' systems out there, but the Enneagram is one of the least specific in its 'typing' and most useful in its insights.
- The Complete Enneagram: 27 Paths to Greater Self-Knowledge (https://www.amazon.com/Complete-Enneagram-Paths-Greater-Self...) - Feeling Good (https://www.amazon.com/Feeling-Good-New-Mood-Therapy/dp/0380...)
Feeling Good is by David Burns, a Stanford professor who developed Cognitive Behavior Therapy. CBT is a way to identify and manage your thoughts. It sounds like you are a 'fortune telling' type of person and you try to read your crystal ball and then act on those assumptions rather than what you know. Burns goes into how to identify those types of thoughts, how to refute them and how to mitigate their effects.
Uh no, I don't think so. The wiki page on CBT [0] doesn't mention Burns. (I did read Feeling Good years ago, don't remember anything about it - maybe because I'd read Ellis and a lot of others first.)
I did get a lot from, and have recommend to others with success, Albert Ellis' book The New Guide to Rational Living, about what he called rational emotive therapy - many subsequent methods are very similar, because it works. In short, observe your negative thoughts and change them. No woo or huge cost involved. From [1] :
"REBT is the first form of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and was first expounded by Ellis in the mid-1950s; development continued until his death in 2007. ... Psychology Today noted, "No individual — not even Freud himself — has had a greater impact on modern psychotherapy" ... In his first major book on rational therapy, Ellis wrote that the central principle of his approach, that people are rarely emotionally affected by external events but rather by their thinking about such events, "was originally discovered and stated by the ancient Stoic philosophers" "
[0] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_behavioral_therapy
[1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rational_emotive_behavior_ther...
The approach I took was to forcibly compartmentalise things. If I needed to think deeply about something I would sit down, switch off distractions and do so for a fixed period. I would then find something else to pay attention to: read a book, phone someone, that sort of thing. So I couldn't continue thinking about the problem.
The key for me was to move to thinking hard about something else for a period, not let my mind wander.
I also found that having a couple of "go to" subjects, unrelated to work or home, that require complex thought processes, helped. I switch to thinking about them if there is no other candidate e.g. when I am going to sleep. YMMV but the 2 I chose were developing a new programming language and designing a town. I'd pick an aspect of one of them and think how I'd design that.
It worked for me. The only minor downsides I've noticed are 1) that I really don't like talking about home when at work and vice versa. And 2) when I actually had some free time, and decided to implement the language, I kept nodding off.
If there were any real answers that could be given, we wouldn't have people in the world who worry anymore. The truth is that what helps is different for everyone. I personally loathe self-help books, but I found that reading literature has had a significant impact on how I view living/life. Just keep an open mind and try a few things. Maybe what helps you is going to a sweat lodge twice a year, who knows?
>I personally loathe self-help books
Some of them do actually have "real answers". (e.g. see my other comment on this page) There are good and bad, as in any field. It seems you have decided without evidence that none are worth reading. To the point of loathing. Hate? That's a shame. (And you are recommending an open mind?!...)
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/4866.How_to_Stop_Worryin...
It's by Dale Carnegie who also wrote "How to Win Friends and Influence People".
As a bonus, math trains mental endurance, toughness, agility and creativity. Ain't nothing compares to math in this department.
In my case, what I did was make peace with it and accept that I do it. By doing that l, I at least give me the chance to acknowledge that I’m doing it and try to reduce the undesired effects.
If you are interested Dr. Jordan Peterson participated in a Dr. Oz segment on TV talking about these different personalities.
https://www.doctoroz.com/quiz/quiz-whats-your-personality-ty...
If you still want to go deeper I believe you can probably look up more stuff from Peterson and go from there.