Ask HN: Any tips for a shy person who wants to do sales?
I'm shy and I feel weird talking to people, looking into their eyes. Talking to a group of people will make my voice shaking and I feel inferior and less confident whenever I talk to people.
1. Start lifting weights and training Brazilian jiu-jitsu.
2. Join a Toastmasters chapter and start doing as many public talks as you can.
3. Go to all the various events you can, that involve mingling and talking with people... yes, it will be painful at first, but condition yourself to get used to it. Go to the various "mixers" put on by the local Chamber of Commerce, and similar events. Or just all kind of Meetups that might interest you.
4. Hang out with other sales people and model their behavior.
5. It's maybe a bit extreme, but you could try "rejection therapy".[1]
6. It's a bit "out there", but honestly, one of the things that did wonders for my self-confidence and assertiveness was the time I spent as a volunteer firefighter. When you put yourself in an environment where you routinely deal with literal "life and death" situations, it's hard not to develop a more stoic / detached mindset, and to learn a "feel the fear and do it anyway" approach.
7. On a related note, there are a bunch of books on this topic, including one titled "Feel The Fear, And Do It Anyway" (by Susan Jeffers). I have it, skimmed a little bit of it, but never actually read it. It came highly recommended though, so it might be worth a look.
8. It's become a bit of a fad lately, which makes me hesitant to mention it, but the Stoic philosophy has some appeal that might be relevant to you. Reading some classic, or contemporary, works on Stoicism might be worthwhile.
9. Read and study as much material on sales techniques / strategy as you can. I have found that in some contexts (like my firefighting days) confidence derives directly from training and the associated knowledge. Crawling inside a burning house is scary, but it's less scary when you know how your protective equipment works, when you understand how to recognize potential signs of an imminent flashover, when you know you can always follow the hoseline back out if you get lost, etc., etc. Know your techniques and tactics extremely well, and you should find it easier to be more confident.
It probably wouldn't. But that isn't the question here. Look at what the OP wrote:
I'm shy and I feel weird talking to people, looking into their eyes. Talking to a group of people will make my voice shaking and I feel inferior and less confident whenever I talk to people
That isn't a sales problem, that's a basic, fundamental issue of confidence, self-assurance, "frame of mind", or whatever you want to call it. If you can't even look at people and talk to them, you're not "doing sales" yet.
What weight-lifting and jiu-jitsu can help with, in my (admittedly anecdotal) experience, is that "confidence, self-assurance, etc." stuff. The stuff that's a prerequisite before even getting to the actual sales part.
Since I don’t live in a dangerous area or work as an MMA fighter that stuff wouldn’t help me. Frankly my opinion of what’s scary about people is self-centeredness, social connections, whether they have willingness to throw me under the bus for their benefit, etc. No help from jiu-jitsu unless it makes them bond with you. Or maybe a (my opinion) small but noticeable positive benefit looking athletic can give you.
Let's say you're selling a CRM. There's lots of CRMs out there and yours might not even be the best.
But out there, someone is hacking together a CRM on Excel and it's just not good enough. Someone out there is afraid of doing sales because they'll worry they'll drop someone or double schedule a meeting. Someone out there is struggling to pay their staff and can't raise wages because they can't make enough sales. They've got a good development team, but just have trouble taking their product to market.
If you don't sell to them, they might never know how you could help. Or they might go to one of the many inferior CRMs. I worked with a CRM company once and we used to run experiments on production, code had no tests and was highly unstable. Some bought it to "support local businesses" and later on lost trust for all "local businesses". So even if you're not selling the best product on the market, it's unlikely you're selling the worst.
Don't rely on charisma. Don't charm them. Some people hate those kinds of salespersons. A shy salesperson can build trust.
All you have to do is try to help them solve their problems. You're not trying to convince people of anything. You're just explaining your product to the people who already want to buy it.
Toastmasters has apparently helped a lot of people develop their public speaking skills. Their meetings also have impromptu questions, which help members develop fast thinking before responding.
I joined them recently. So far I am really enjoying their meetings.
EDIT: I see a few more people have recommended Toastmasters. I will expand a bit and say that Toastmasters should be first step. Reading books, meditation, working out etc are all good options but they help you with public speaking/shyness indirectly. But Toastmasters will help you with public speaking immediately.
It is free to attend their meetings as guest for as long as you like. You can try different clubs until you find one that you really enjoy.
After a while, you will get to know your club's members and it will get easy for you speak in front of them. But then you can join local competitions where several local Toastmaster clubs compete together. So you get to speak in front of larger and different audience and continue improving your public speaking skills.
You need a shift in perspective in order to drive the behavior you want. It seems like past experiences have given you the mental lens of "I am inferior to others / I don't have anything that other people want."
This is going to give you a cognitive bias every time you interact with people. The brain is uncomfortable being wrong and will actually look for evidence that is not there in order to confirm a flawed belief that it thinks will "keep you safe".
To change this, identify what beliefs may be limiting you. Can these be boiled down to a more simple idea / level? Then challenge those beliefs in two ways: first with logic (does this actually make reasonable sense?) with the aim of inspiring doubt, then with daily controlled exposure with the aim of creating a library of small experiences that your brain can weigh against past evidence and form a new belief.
Action < Thoughts < Beliefs < Experiences
This is why most people suggest working out, taking a martial art class, going to bars, or other things because all of these help create that different point of reference- which is everything. There's many things you can do and only you really know what they are. More than likely, they're the things that you think about but feel hesitation over, and as I mentioned, there are a lot so by the simply fact that it's occurred to you it's likely relevant and worth trying.
I'd recommend seeing a counselor; it's great. Bonus points if they have a sense of humor... and try brazillian jujitsu.
And remember, you're not trying to sell things to people: people want to buy things from you and they need your help, and you're offering a service. If there's resistance, it's because they don't understand the value.
Sales is all about listening. Listening to your customer and their needs and solve their problems with or without your product. That’s it. But first just listen.
That's good advice. You can direct the conversation to pains they may have that your solution/product solves, but essentially a salesperson is there to identify pain.
I can't tell you exactly how I got out of that situation because it was a gradual change. But one thing you should do is practice. Practice being funny, practice body language, practice following the thread of a conversation, practice being interesting. Practice this with other people, and catch every bit of feedback that you can: try to infer what their faces tell you, if they're comfortable with you or not, what do those people like and dislike. Try to stay away from other awkward guys, you can't learn anything from them unless they're sociable, which means they're not totally awkward. You'll also find that a great deal of people will try to take advantage of you. Try to stay away from people that ignore you when trying to talk to them, or don't hold what you say as important. If they dismiss you, then you must have the courage to dismiss them.
I'm not sure shyness is a problem. Some of the most effective and big dollar-earning enterprise salespeople I ever met were quiet introverts. They were successful because they took the time to listen, understand customer's problems and genuinely try to help. They also had deep product and domain knowledge.
You have to read this book "Flip the script" by Oren Klaff. This book describes basically how you can make a sales script for your business like Jordan Belfort had during his cold-call telephone sale in the movie "The wolf of Wall Street".
It is a killer to read and will redefine how you look at sales in way that will come completely natural to you as introvert.
Here's what my mentor taught me when starting:
(1) Learn about the product you are selling.
(2) Use the product you are selling.
(3) Don't sell, but rather expose others to the product.
If you do not know or use the product, then it is difficult for a new salesperson to help the customer.
When you expose someone to a product, be sure to give them a way out by letting them know it is okay if they want to pass up the opportunity. There doesn't need to be any pressure when presenting opportunities.
Ensure that you understand the pain points of your customers and strive to figure out solutions. People tend to buy from people they trust, not from people they like. Ensure that they trust you.
My dad's first profession was in real estate sales. His boss on day one handed him a phone book, told him to start on page one, call each number, and try to sell that person a burial plot at a fictional cemetery.
1. Start lifting weights and training Brazilian jiu-jitsu.
2. Join a Toastmasters chapter and start doing as many public talks as you can.
3. Go to all the various events you can, that involve mingling and talking with people... yes, it will be painful at first, but condition yourself to get used to it. Go to the various "mixers" put on by the local Chamber of Commerce, and similar events. Or just all kind of Meetups that might interest you.
4. Hang out with other sales people and model their behavior.
5. It's maybe a bit extreme, but you could try "rejection therapy".[1]
6. It's a bit "out there", but honestly, one of the things that did wonders for my self-confidence and assertiveness was the time I spent as a volunteer firefighter. When you put yourself in an environment where you routinely deal with literal "life and death" situations, it's hard not to develop a more stoic / detached mindset, and to learn a "feel the fear and do it anyway" approach.
7. On a related note, there are a bunch of books on this topic, including one titled "Feel The Fear, And Do It Anyway" (by Susan Jeffers). I have it, skimmed a little bit of it, but never actually read it. It came highly recommended though, so it might be worth a look.
8. It's become a bit of a fad lately, which makes me hesitant to mention it, but the Stoic philosophy has some appeal that might be relevant to you. Reading some classic, or contemporary, works on Stoicism might be worthwhile.
9. Read and study as much material on sales techniques / strategy as you can. I have found that in some contexts (like my firefighting days) confidence derives directly from training and the associated knowledge. Crawling inside a burning house is scary, but it's less scary when you know how your protective equipment works, when you understand how to recognize potential signs of an imminent flashover, when you know you can always follow the hoseline back out if you get lost, etc., etc. Know your techniques and tactics extremely well, and you should find it easier to be more confident.
[1]: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rejection_Therapy
Are people more likely to buy if they’re afraid you’ll attack them or something?
It probably wouldn't. But that isn't the question here. Look at what the OP wrote:
I'm shy and I feel weird talking to people, looking into their eyes. Talking to a group of people will make my voice shaking and I feel inferior and less confident whenever I talk to people
That isn't a sales problem, that's a basic, fundamental issue of confidence, self-assurance, "frame of mind", or whatever you want to call it. If you can't even look at people and talk to them, you're not "doing sales" yet.
What weight-lifting and jiu-jitsu can help with, in my (admittedly anecdotal) experience, is that "confidence, self-assurance, etc." stuff. The stuff that's a prerequisite before even getting to the actual sales part.
But out there, someone is hacking together a CRM on Excel and it's just not good enough. Someone out there is afraid of doing sales because they'll worry they'll drop someone or double schedule a meeting. Someone out there is struggling to pay their staff and can't raise wages because they can't make enough sales. They've got a good development team, but just have trouble taking their product to market.
If you don't sell to them, they might never know how you could help. Or they might go to one of the many inferior CRMs. I worked with a CRM company once and we used to run experiments on production, code had no tests and was highly unstable. Some bought it to "support local businesses" and later on lost trust for all "local businesses". So even if you're not selling the best product on the market, it's unlikely you're selling the worst.
Don't rely on charisma. Don't charm them. Some people hate those kinds of salespersons. A shy salesperson can build trust.
All you have to do is try to help them solve their problems. You're not trying to convince people of anything. You're just explaining your product to the people who already want to buy it.
Toastmasters has apparently helped a lot of people develop their public speaking skills. Their meetings also have impromptu questions, which help members develop fast thinking before responding.
I joined them recently. So far I am really enjoying their meetings.
EDIT: I see a few more people have recommended Toastmasters. I will expand a bit and say that Toastmasters should be first step. Reading books, meditation, working out etc are all good options but they help you with public speaking/shyness indirectly. But Toastmasters will help you with public speaking immediately.
It is free to attend their meetings as guest for as long as you like. You can try different clubs until you find one that you really enjoy.
After a while, you will get to know your club's members and it will get easy for you speak in front of them. But then you can join local competitions where several local Toastmaster clubs compete together. So you get to speak in front of larger and different audience and continue improving your public speaking skills.
To change this, identify what beliefs may be limiting you. Can these be boiled down to a more simple idea / level? Then challenge those beliefs in two ways: first with logic (does this actually make reasonable sense?) with the aim of inspiring doubt, then with daily controlled exposure with the aim of creating a library of small experiences that your brain can weigh against past evidence and form a new belief.
Action < Thoughts < Beliefs < Experiences
This is why most people suggest working out, taking a martial art class, going to bars, or other things because all of these help create that different point of reference- which is everything. There's many things you can do and only you really know what they are. More than likely, they're the things that you think about but feel hesitation over, and as I mentioned, there are a lot so by the simply fact that it's occurred to you it's likely relevant and worth trying.
I'd recommend seeing a counselor; it's great. Bonus points if they have a sense of humor... and try brazillian jujitsu.
And remember, you're not trying to sell things to people: people want to buy things from you and they need your help, and you're offering a service. If there's resistance, it's because they don't understand the value.
Good luck!
Maybe you don't sell today but keep in touch with the customer.
Today 'lost' prospects are really tomorrow sales.
Part of their charm was practice, part of it was excitement for the product, part of it was some kind of inner fanaticism to help the customer.
It is a killer to read and will redefine how you look at sales in way that will come completely natural to you as introvert.
https://www.amazon.com/Flip-Script-Getting-People-Think/dp/0...
If you do not know or use the product, then it is difficult for a new salesperson to help the customer.
When you expose someone to a product, be sure to give them a way out by letting them know it is okay if they want to pass up the opportunity. There doesn't need to be any pressure when presenting opportunities.
practice, practice, practice. Toastmasters would be a good start.
but also, realize that not every job is for every person. find your strength elsewhere and don't look back!